Seasonal Affective Disorder is this hilarious game you play with your eyeballs and your brain from December to February. You will always lose the game. Eventually you will be completely dead inside and only motivated to get off the couch by money.
After 20 years of trying and failing, I have finally perfected homemade granola. It is not healthy in any fucking way, but it’s vegan. And if you need more calories because your body is wasting away, you will be happy to consume those life giving carbs, fats, and fibers via this granular vehicle.
The Perfect Granola
- 1/2 c coconut oil or other high heat oil
- 1/2 c brown sugar or some other sugar wtf cares
- 2 c rolled oats
- 1 c all ur other toppings mixed together, such as coconut shreds, sesame seeds, hemp seeds, sunflower seeds, nuts, dates, cinnamon, cardamom, salt
Combine oil and sugar in a stovetop pot. On medium high heat, watch the pot carefully and stir constantly while the sugar melts. Don’t let it burn, that would taste gross.
Once the sugar has melted, turn off the burner, dump in the cup of toppings and 1/3 of the oats. Stir this around and form clumps. Add the rest of the oats, stir a few times, then dump out mixture into a glass pie plate.
Press the granola to smush it together and form bigger chunks. Toast under 300° for 15 mins. It should smell toasted when it’s done.
Cool completely. Store in an air tight container. Jk ur gonna eat it all the day you made it because winter has turned u into a junk food craving smeagle.
Eating Vegan with Crohn's Disease 