Jacked Fatty

Bodybuilders are less than 10% body fat. You can see every rippling sinew under their thin, tight skin.

As a jacked fatty, however, my bulging muscles are hidden under a layer of fat, like a soft blanket of snow. This makes it harder to visibly see the changes happening to my body as I enter my second year of weight training.

I know I am making gains because of what I am able to do, and also because of what I am able to eat. I am hungry all the time and eat between 3-4000 calories a day to stay alert and energetic at work, and to support recovery from lifting.

As a fat person who also has considerable muscles, I need a lot more calories than what lightweights do to just power my bod, let alone power a workout. Under-fueling would make me so tired and wiped out, and would keep me from doing the exercises I enjoy.

All of this said, today I noticed the shape of my quads. I could feel them under my skin as I ran my hand over my knee and lower thigh after working out. This is a huge non-scale victory!

I just want to put it out there into the world that jacked fatties can have a hard time feeling like we’re making progress in the gym because we can’t visibly see the changes happening in our bodies. But that doesn’t mean it’s not happening. We just experience it differently.

It’s an embodied experience, not something subject to The Gaze. It’s proven by better mobility, functional movement, seeing the numbers go up on our lifts, and an increase in appetite. It’s not quantifiable on a scale. The body morphs and shifts and becomes stronger, fiercer, tougher.

Still fat, and stronger, and much more powerful.