Shit I Have Tried to Heal My Colon

  • Bland foods (banana, rice, applesauce, toast)
  • Eating lots of cheez-its (logic: those usually make me constipated!)
  • Lemon lime Gatorade
  • Tests of my blood, urine, and poo
  • Colonoscopy
  • Urgent care
  • My PCP
  • A gastroenterologist
  • Steroids for months
  • Remicade
  • Speaking with a registered dietitian
  • Specific carbohydrate diet
  • Homemade applesauce, chicken soup and smoked salmon (when I completely lost my appetite and nothing sounded good)
  • Throwing away my rice cooker (regrets) to avoid certain carbs
  • Giving away lots of pantry items to avoid certain carbs
  • Weed
  • Smoking weed
  • Eating weed
  • Tramadol
  • Tramadol and weed
  • Heating pads
  • Yoga
  • Stretching
  • Pressure points
  • Yin yoga (aka laying on pillows)
  • Wearing only leggings
  • Wearing no pants
  • Meditation
  • Sleeping forever
  • Quitting my job
  • Feline therapy (thanks, Tom Cat)
  • Working less, ie: multiple online gigs simultaneously
  • Projectile vomiting
  • Asking my parents for money
  • Credit card debt
  • Taking out a loan
  • Exercise (gym membership once I got an ounce of energy, walking, swimming, weight lifting)
  • Netflix
  • Veganism
  • Getting a water filter
  • Not using plastic with my foods (nearly impossible and I gave up really fast)
  • Self-Healing Colitis and Crohn’s protocol
  • Microbiome Diet
  • Watching Anthony Bourdain eat delicious foods of the world while wishing I could one day have flavor
  • Not eating processed foods
  • Throwing out everything in my house with emulsifiers
  • Only using household and personal cleaning products without “toxins”
  • Whole foods in a blender
  • PEN (partial enteral nutrition)
  • Medical meal replacement shakes
  • Crohn’s disease exclusion diet

Published by Rebecca Riley

Artist, educator, activist, musician. Find me teaching Modern World History and Community Leadership. Columbus, Ohio.

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